Urban Velo

Fixed Gear Missionaries

It was bound to happen eventually… Fixed gear LDS missionaries. Via Cyclelicio.us.

About Urban Jeff

I'm about to have a nervous breakdown, my head really hurts. Contact me.

View all posts by Urban Jeff →


  1. hahaMay 18, 2010 at 2:24 am

    They have so much time to coordinate their color schemes when not drinking PBR. Also, the god-humper on the far left forgot to take his brake off for the photo.

  2. jamesmallonMay 18, 2010 at 6:54 am

    Damn, that shark is jumped. Gotta find the new anarchist bike subculture now.

  3. RaulMay 18, 2010 at 8:58 am

    Joe Smith finally rocks!

  4. FixedMay 18, 2010 at 9:28 am

    I can be so mean but I’ll be nice…

  5. JeremyMay 18, 2010 at 9:36 am

    Jesus Christ.

  6. erikMay 18, 2010 at 10:09 am

    they need chain guards… my bike has a chain guard, they are pretty good… you dont have to wear skinny jeans or roll up your pants…

  7. Kid AwesomeMay 18, 2010 at 10:18 am

    I could be snarky, but this is actually really fucking cool, much props to the Later Day Saints in general for being so pro bike. People need to stop treating this whole fucking fixed gear thing like it’s the fucking People’s Temple, it’s just one of many ways to ride, that is all. Like the sticker says: Ride a fucking bike, that’s all the really matters.

  8. JeremyMay 18, 2010 at 11:11 am

    ^ It’s not about fixed-gear elitism. It’s about yet another sleazy marketing gimmick perpetrated by organized religion.

  9. erikMay 18, 2010 at 11:52 am

    the mormons i have known through cycling have been fully legit bike dorks… looks good to me, except they need chain gaurds…

  10. Ghost RiderMay 18, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    I wish they had matched their ties to their color schemes…otherwise, thumbs up all the way. Mormons GET bikes, no matter what other stuff you want to say about them. They’re ok in my book!

  11. FixedMay 19, 2010 at 10:03 am

    So, I saw one of these kids standing next to his bike on a cellphone, does that make him an oxy-mormon?

  12. BobbyMay 19, 2010 at 4:25 pm

    i was an lds missionary in NY a couple years ago. you know your way around a bike pretty good when you ride it everywhere, everyday for 2 years. you buy your own bike and you maintain it, they arent really provided by the church, so props to these guys who got legit fixed-gear instead of busted mountain bikes.

  13. HaggieMay 19, 2010 at 4:34 pm

    Unlike other bike “messengers” these guys smell heavenly…

  14. EmilyMay 20, 2010 at 8:48 am

    Dude second from the left is rocking a Chrome bag, too! Tres hip.

  15. Brian the ArchitectMay 20, 2010 at 8:50 am

    I’m cool with Jesus riding a bike (although not applicable here). I suspect he was pretty hip…… I kind of think this whole thing jumped the shark when people started matching the colors of their grips to their rims/ brakes/ seats/ blinky lights/ bags/ socks/ underwear/ $200 skinny jeans. If these guys want to preach while riding a bike, I say amen. Pedel away.

  16. bicycle berkMay 20, 2010 at 6:02 pm

    Props to the boys ridin fixed. I hate seeing those boys around town on crap old mountain bikes. Clean, legit, easy to keep on the road fixies are exactly what a missionary bike should be.

  17. MattMay 21, 2010 at 12:14 pm

    These guys have probably been fixters just as long as anyone posting comments here.
    All LDS kids have to do this mission thing. If you were doing it, would you ride a “shirt and tie” oriented bike, or would you ride your regular bike?

  18. MikeMay 22, 2010 at 8:06 am

    Are cyclists actually bashing other cyclists? What’s the point of that? I have a low tolerance for non-cyclists criticizing cycling and cyclists. From fellow cyclists? That is totally unacceptable.

  19. african singleMay 23, 2010 at 12:09 pm

    Can they ride them in the missionary position?
    Ya see, I’m from Africa and we tend to look askance at them there missionaries….but what the hell, they’re on bikes and not in SUV’s.

  20. One GearMay 25, 2010 at 10:00 pm

    To Jeremy, There is absolutely no marketing gimmick. More professional colors would probably have been more appropriate for representatives of the church. As far as a bike for transportation, this is ideal for these guys.

    I don’t know about the other three, but I know one of these guys and he has had the same bike for 7 years now. Some one in California gave them the bright paint. More subdued coloring would be better for them, but what better mode of transportation for a simple clean cut missionary with only half a day a week to take care of laundry, grocery shopping, and other necessities than a simple low maintenace clean cut bike?

  21. skiddin' for jebus...May 27, 2010 at 1:20 am

    [...] for jebus… Fixed Gear Missionaries "so yeah, i see you have lots of bikes. you like having lots of the same thing AND a place in [...]

  22. ummmJune 17, 2010 at 5:51 am

    it’s beyond me how some of you guys think these bikes are “clean”.

  23. Letture quotidiane - Leggetevi questi – 18 June 2010June 18, 2010 at 1:10 pm

    [...] Fixed Gear Missionaries [...]

  24. ericpJuly 27, 2010 at 8:02 pm

    that’s just sad – Mormon’s gotta fuck up everything

  25. erikOctober 14, 2010 at 10:31 pm

    I was a mormon missionary in DC. My “busted” mountain bike was always giving me grief. I got interested in fix gear because of the low levels of maintenance required. Thats what riding fixed is all about, simple and and easily-maintainable. Kudos to them.

  26. Some random commentDecember 29, 2010 at 5:57 pm

    The oury grips of hell… NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (burns hands)

  27. 10 bike stories of 2010 » CycleliciousDecember 30, 2010 at 6:23 pm

    [...] apparently a rumor the Fixed Gear Apocalypse hasn’t happened yet. This should put a nail in that coffin, if you still have [...]

  28. Mormons: Morons, or More “On?” « Defending RegicideJanuary 26, 2012 at 10:45 am

    [...] practicing incest and killing their wives were a far cry from the short-sleeved, starched shirt missionaries with precise haircuts and shit-eating grins that one would normally associate with Mormonism. I [...]

  29. Alex MillerMay 27, 2012 at 8:49 pm

    Way to be Elders. I was an LDS missionary and we rode 30 miles or so a day. Try that over 2 years. You rack up over 10,000 miles on a bike. Props to the Elders for these. Anyone who rides that much deserves bike cred no matter what they are doing. Plus, I agree with Bobby. We had to learn to take care of our bikes and learn biking courtesy to be on the roads. Good job Elders. And way to have fun with it.

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


City Reports