Urban Velo

Bicycle “Safety” Tips

The Onion has just released it’s Transit Issue here in Indianapolis and posted some bicycle safety tips on the website from an old installment. In typical Onion fashion, the tips are as hilarious as they are impractical. My two favorites are the following:

Visibility is crucial when biking. Ride with a lit highway flare in each hand.

Does your city have adequate bike paths? If not, consider bitching about it to your local government for the next 40 years.

This article was written back in ’01 and sorely needs some updating. Add your own Onion-esque bicycle safety tips in the comments.

About Scott Spitz

Commuting, touring, kid hauling, couriering, mechanic work, sales, advocacy, fixed, free—Scott has had his hands in it all over the years.

View all posts by Scott Spitz →


  1. JugomugoApril 27, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    Ride facing traffic. It’s important for the cars to see you coming at them.

  2. grgApril 27, 2012 at 1:24 pm

    ” Please don’t tazer me”
    t-shirts are free at your next City Council meeting.Limit 2

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


City Reports